Looking Upward

I was asked to speak in church today - on Mother's Day (woohoo, right?). It has been difficult to decide what to speak on, as this can be an awkward day for me, but after much prayer, this is what I came up with. Enjoy!

Looking Upward

May 10, 2015

Two years ago, Austin and I spent Christmas with my family in Lakeside, AZ.  Every year around the holidays, my mom makes a HUGE batch of almond toffee popcorn that she packages up and sends to family and friends.  This particular Christmas, there were about 15 bags left that were unclaimed.  On Christmas Eve, she excitedly approached me with her idea of spreading Christmas cheer throughout the town by giving away the last bags of popcorn.  We got in the car and she offered a prayer that we would be open to inspiration to know who needed a little extra “joy” in their lives on Christmas Eve.  We proceeded on our journey.  We went to Wal-Mart, the fire station, and to the post office.  We offered our gifts to random strangers and eagerly wished them a Merry Christmas.  While on our way from point A to point B, we saw a car with it’s hood up on the side of the road, and two women walking around it.  We initially passed them, but then looked at each other and both agreed that we needed to turn around.  Luckily, we were able to help solve their car issue by jumping their battery and giving them some popcorn.  They were amazed that two women were wandering around town, looking for people to give popcorn to AND that we were actually able to help them!  I’m positive the Lord inspired us to drive down that particular road, at that time, so that we could provide that service.

When we surprised my mom on a spontaneous trip for the 4 AM lunar eclipse!

Stories like this are not unusual for my mom.  She is always thinking of fun things to do that involve making people happy.  Her most famous quote, besides “I just want everyone to get along” (I guess that’s what you get when you have 7 kids), is “Never stifle a generous impulse”.  It took me a while to fully grasp this concept.  The words alone didn’t teach me, but it was through her example that I was able to learn how to serve others and how to be generous with my time and talents.  This lesson has helped me throughout my life.

Mother’s day can be a difficult day for many.  Some women have lost a child, some have lost a mother, and others have difficulty having their own children.  Though I fall into the latter category, and sometimes struggle with my own identity as a “mother”, I have found this concept of service, that my mother has taught me, as my way of handling this trial.  

My nephew and I

The prophet Elijah encountered such a woman of service as he was commanded to go to Zarephath.  This widow had “not a cake, but an handful of meal in a barrel, and a little oil in a cruse” and when Elijah asked her to share with him, she stated:

12 ...I am gathering two sticks, that I may go [make a fire] and dress [my meal] for me and my son, that we may eat it, and die.

13 And Elijah said unto her, Fear not; go and do as thou hast said: but make me thereof a little cake first, and bring it unto me, and after make for thee and for thy son.

14 For thus saith the Lord God of Israel, The barrel of meal shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail, until the day that the Lord sendeth rain upon the earth.

15 And she went and did according to the saying of Elijah: and she, and he, and her house, did eat many days.

16 And the barrel of meal wasted not, neither did the cruse of oil fail, according to the word of the Lord, which he spake by Elijah. (Kings 17: 12-16)

This woman, this mother and widow, could have easily turned Elijah away.  She could have stifled her generous impulse to serve him, to feed him, due to her less than desirable circumstances.  She had very little to offer, yet she listened to Holy ghost and served our beloved prophet.  In return, her and her son were blessed with all the meal and oil that they would need to survive.

Proverbs 3:5-6 states:

5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

It may not make sense for this widow, and mother, to give the last of her “meal and oil” to a stranger, on a “whim” that it is the right thing to do.  Just as it may not make sense for women who struggle with their own identity as mothers to find a way to enjoy Mother’s day.  According to man’s logic, this doesn’t make sense; but according to this scripture, we needn’t lean unto our own understanding, we needn’t think with the heart of man.  If we trust in the Lord through all of our trials, he will direct us on the path we should take.  

In a TOFW conference I went to a while back, there was a speaker who talked about how “looking upward will help us look outward”.  The idea is that when we start looking to God, when we trust in him, he will help us look outward and serve others.  This will help us focus less on our own inadequacies and focus more on productive issues that we can help solve.

A few years back, I had a dear neighbor and friend pass away, her name was Lee.  Before her passing, I had taken her into my life as a second mother, she was 65.  Our initial interaction was not one that would’ve made one think we would become friends.  In fact, it was quite the opposite.  

We lived above her in a 4-plex.  Due to her smoking habits, we often found ourselves in a cloud at the top of the stairs.  We wrote up a complaint to the landlord and after that, it seemed to get a little bit better.  We had another interaction with her that involved a parking incident.  Needless to say, she was not very happy with one of our guests parking job, and she was not shy to let us know.  

Months had passed after our negative confrontations and we would once in a while bump into her in our shared entryway.  On one of these occasions I felt an impression to invite her over to dinner.  It was not something I had previously planned, but it felt like a good thing to do at the time, and she was nice enough to accept.  That Friday night she came over and we had waffles for dinner. Once she was there we found out she was diabetic! Even though this was the case, she happily said that she would just watch her insulin real close the next couple of days, because she sure did love waffles!  

Our friendship blossomed over the next year or so.  She would come over for girl weekends (when Austin was at his National Guard duties), and I even got her hooked onto some chick flicks, like Twilight.  She also came to church a couple of times to listen to our talks.  Each time she came, she stated how she was surprised that the “roof didn’t burn down”!  To be honest, She’d probably think it is funny that I’m talking about her right now, since she never thought much of religion for herself, but she would often tell us how she thought it was so neat that all the people she met from our church really seemed to live what we preached.  If nothing else, I’d say that she learned first hand that Mormons take service very seriously!

Lee had decided to never have kids of her own.  She told me on one occasion, that if she did have a daughter, she would’ve liked her to be like me.  This statement took me off guard and I felt honored.  I realized that I was to her, what she was to me, a daughter of God looking for a strong mother-daughter connection (as we were living in Indiana and far away from my own mother).

  

Lee with her home girls

After getting to know her more, I found out she suffered from a serious liver disease and she needed a liver transplant.  She had no family to take care of her; no parents, kids or spouse left to tend to her needs and she didn’t reach out to friends for help either.  She really was alone.  I suddenly felt that our friendship was more than just happenstance.  I knew that she needed me.  I felt determined to help and I decided to put on a murder mystery fundraiser for her.  On October 19, 2012, we had 33 guests come to the fundraiser and it was a hit!  

Unfortunately, just 5 days later, I went to check on her and she had passed away in her apartment.  I know, that by opening my heart upward to Heavenly Father and being open to feeling the direction of the holy spirit, I was able to reach outward to her.  I was able to use the innate skills that come with “motherhood” or “womanhood”, whichever you’d like to call it, to touch her life for good, and she was able to do the same for me.  Even though she didn’t have much, I often think of how great it was that 33 people came to a party, to celebrate her, just 5 days before she passed away.  

If I had stifled my initial instinct to invite her over for dinner, I can’t help but think that she would’ve felt alone, and unloved, during her last few months in this mortal existence.  By opening my heart up to serve her, I was able to focus less on my own struggles and become closer to our Heavenly Father.

Looking back on that experience I often see how hindsight is 20/20; at the time, I didn’t see the big picture of what was going on, but I now understand what path the Lord was taking me on.  Unfortunately, I am only human and have noticed that I have to continually remind myself to look upward so that I can look outward toward others.

So whether Mother’s day is a day that makes you happy or a day that makes you sad, the most important thing to realize, is that, “Every one of us can mother someone—beginning, of course, with the children in our own families but extending far beyond. Every one of us can show by word and by deed that the work of women in the Lord’s kingdom is magnificent and holy.” (Sheri Dew).  

I pray that as women, we can stop stifling our generosity and that we can trust in the Lord through all of our trials, even when it doesn’t always make sense.  

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.