Sisters in Infertility

 Please note: pictures in this post are of women that have played positive roles in my life, they are not necessarily struggling with infertility.  They are also not inclusive of every woman that has played a positive role in my life... there are too many of those to count and, unfortunately, I don't have pictures of them all.

My friends and I rocking the patriotic attire

Over the last few years, I've come to realize that many women struggle with infertility on various levels.  There are those of us who have yet to conceive, "the Not-yet Nancy's", those who have struggled for years and then were blessed with a child, "the Struggling Sarah's", and those that were lucky at first but now struggle to have more children, "the Lucky Lisa's".  I think that if we were to get a total percentage of how many women fall into these categories it would be alarmingly high.

 My high school pals! Life long friends!

Speaking from a "Not-yet Nancy's" perspective, I have come to love and appreciate the "Nancy's", the "Sarah's" and the "Lisa's" that have come into my life.  There is a special bond that can be created when built upon similar foundations.  As a Nancy, I came into the world of infertility not knowing what to expect and these ladies have often given advice and help when needed.  A fellow "Nancy" of mine, (soon to be a "Sarah", because she is now expecting after 11 years... woot woot!) helped me through the difficult experience I shared in a previous post.  You can read about that here.  Due to the public nature of the event, everyone was interested in knowing what was going on.  For a few months after the event, women were still asking me about the potential adoption, even though the birth mother ended up having an abortion, and every time they asked it was like opening a new wound (I know they asked out of kindness but it was still hard on me).  This Nancy-friend took the initiative and publicly announced what happened so that I could have some peace.

The "Struggling Sarah's" are very wise.  They have gone through a lot and are usually willing to chat about what they struggled with.  Some adopted and then conceived later in life (which is totally awesome!  double stars!) and some waited patiently for the Lord to bless them (which is also awesome!).  One of my good friends struggled for years and did every test possible to get pregnant.  None of the tests worked and then randomly she got the positive sign a few years later.  She now has 4 children... her story brings us Nancy's a lot of hope!

Love my fam!

The "Lucky Lisa's" have a difficult gig.  At first I wondered why they were sad to not have more children, and I'd selfishly think about how I'd love to just have one.  The more I mature and see the Lord's hand in our lives, I've realized that we all have our own plan and our own trials.  One of my Lisa friends had 3 children and was devastated when she had difficulties having a fourth.  She told me that she felt terrible talking to me about it (because I was a Nancy) but she felt like there was a hole in her heart that needed to be filled.  These women struggle with this and they often feel like they can't speak their emotions because they "should be grateful they already have a child".  They feel trapped between feeling grateful for their families and feeling guilty because they want more.  I love my Lisa friends and can relate to our somewhat similar struggles.

"Mia Famiglia!" (like what Cake Boss says!... If you watch that show)

Whether you're a "Nancy", "Sarah" or a "Lisa", I know the Lord has brought us together to touch each other's lives. The difficulty of wanting motherhood so badly can be overwhelming, especially when we don't have any control over it.  To be honest, it can become really easy to throw ourselves a pity party or want others to feel bad for us.  I've found that writing this blog is becoming very therapeutic and would encourage others to tell their story, even if its just writing it in a journal.  I've also learned to use service as a way to avoid focusing on my own problems.  Look for a neighbor or friend in need and be there for them.  That is the best medicine for a broken heart.

I'd like to throw an anti-pity party shout out to celebrate all my sisters in infertility that have experienced these issues, on any level, and give a huge "HURRAH!" for fighting the battle!  I'd also love to hear from any of you that may want to share your story or just need someone to talk to about what's going on in your life, comment below or email me!  :)

We are strong and we can do it!!

On a side note, I just have to say that some of my other favorites are cute older ladies that shuffle up to me with sex advice... it is so random and hilarious... and it makes me love them even more!